My Microwave Rant

Okay, so I simply have to rant about the beeping that my microwave does.  Why do you think that the makers of microwaves think that every button and every feature on a microwave should beep, beep, beep,…  I don’t get it.  Do they really think that I need three beeps to tell me that my food is now hot.  Oh, I forgot that I was cooking food.  Oh, and if I don’t get to it fast enough, then it’s going to beep again and again every few minutes until I break down and either open the darn thing or push the cancel button.  And, I’m going to beep so loud that the neighbor next door knows that my microwave needs attending.

Maybe it’s just that I haven’t bought a microwave in a while, but I’ve never had one that didn’t think it wanted to control my life.  Most other appliances either don’t beep or have a way to turn off the beep.  Not my microwave.  It simply likes to remind me that it’ll keep beeping until I stroke its ego a little by paying attention to it.

I’m certainly glad my refrigerator doesn’t beep, “Hey you, your food is now cold!” Or, “Hey you, the thing in the blue tupperware is rotting and is stinking up the place.”

Was that my remote contol beeping? “Hey you, you haven’t watched enough tv today, please press the ‘on’ button…”

“Beep, Beep, Beep.  This is your hot water heater.  You can now take a shower, I have hot water in me.”

Steammmm… Beep… “Hey you, this is your espresso machine. You need another cup.”  Well, I guess that might not be too bad.  I’ll have to think about this one.

“Hey, this is your car seat. You sat your fat ass down and didn’t put on your seat belt.  I’m going to beep until it drives you nuts.”  Oh, I guess my car does do that.

Vroom… Vroom…  Beep… Beep…  “Your carpets are filthy.  Your carpets are filthy.  This is your vacuum cleaner and your carpets are filthy.  Beep…”


Well, I guess some of my appliance do beep incessantly.  But, I find the microwave the most annoying of them all.  It is just not necessary.  Maybe someday I’ll graduate up to a microwave that simply radiates my food and doesn’t beep me to death.


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